Weight Loss, Family Support and You

Your doctor recommended you make lifestyle changes which means eating healthier and moving more. You are ready to make these changes. Your family is not. You want their support but they are not forthcoming, what can you do? Here are some tips for you.

GETTING SUPPORT

Make a list. Sit down with your family, read your list OUT LOUD to them, it will be easier for you to remember everything that was on your mind and may prompt some discussion. Explain why your doctor recommended you to a weight loss program, this way they won’t be scared.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. BE SPECIFIC

Some examples:
• Please eat your dessert or favorite high calorie treats in another room.
• You can keep your favorite treats in the house, please put them in cabinets I don't use
• I am carefully watching what I do and do not eat. I am aware of when I slip and I don’t need you to point it out.
• I am more likely to keep to my walking routine if you join me once in a while. It is something we can do together.

GET YOUR FAMILY INVOLVED, YOU WILL ALL BENEFIT

It takes 3 weeks to change a habit. Start with small changes, baby steps.
• Learn the art of ingredient substitution. Ask your program dietitian for help with substituting ingredients when cooking, chances are, if they are subtle, your family won’t even notice.
• Buy baked chips, not fried. Cut down portion of chips and add some baby carrots.
Switch from whole milk to skim milk. For those who really do not like skim milk, 1% milk is a good option.
• Incorporate fun and healthful activities for the family – walks-you can make it into a scavenger hunt or use it as time together to have a conversation, ride bikes, put on some music and dance. There are home video games the family can enjoy and they do get you off the couch and moving, why, you may even have a laugh or two.
• Review “portion distortion” with your family, make a game of it.
• Talk to your family about eating until they are full, not stuffed. Some of us grew up with the “clean plate club” or “the children in (fill in the blank) are starving so eat all your food”.

FEARS-THEIRS, NOT YOURS

Sometimes your family or friends may feel threatened by the changes they see in you. You know in your heart you are feeling better and looking better for the health of it. Some scenarios that could arise are:

• A spouse or friend may be thinking you are changing everything in your life including replacing them.
• Jealousy-you are spending more time working out than with friends or family
• A friend may miss his/her “partner in crime” eating pal.
• Your weight loss makes your spouse/friend’s weight more noticeable.

They might:
• Belittle your efforts.
• Encourage you to eat fattening foods.
• Undermine your efforts by saying you will gain the weight back.
• Try to keep you from doing your regular physical activity.

You might:
• Need to distance yourself from this person until you feel stronger and have been successful with your program.
• Keep a journal and record instances when your efforts are undermined. Review it for ways you can better handle the situation.
• Work on positive self-talk, it does help. You will gain more confidence when you feel empowered to take control.
• Ask for help from outside your home.

CONFIDENTIAL TO YOU:

Recognize that you can succeed on your own, you really don’t need to rely on anyone else and you have the power to do this yourself.

DESPITE YOUR EFFORTS YOU'RE STILL NOT GETTING THE SUPPORT YOU WANT?

• Look outside your family and regular circle of friends. Do you have a co-worker who is losing weight? There are weight loss support chat rooms available on-line. If you belong to a gym, there might be a buddy there. Do you belong to a card club, quilting group, taking a class, church or synagogue? There is probably more than one of you in the room trying to lose weight.
• Once you get hooked up outside your family, you will see you still belong to a community and find your support through them.
• Ask your lifestyle coach if there are support services available through the program facility.
• You might be eligible for counseling through Employee Assistance Program (EAP), ask Human Resources at work if you don’t know.
• If your employer offers a wellness program, there may be benefits like health coaching available to you.

REAL STORIES FROM DPP SITES:

• “O” told the group that her husband was always complaining that they never ordered pizza anymore. She now reports that she decided to answer by saying he could order pizza if he wanted, but she wasn’t going to choose to eat it (or she might choose to have just one piece). Once he saw that her choices didn’t necessarily compel him to the same choices he seemed to “lighten up”—both verbally and in actuality. He has lost some weight and has amazed his doctors by the improvement in his lipids—though he claims he isn’t doing anything.

• Some of the other supportive spouses have had even more dramatic improvement in their weight and labs despite not being in the program. There have been several reports of children of participants who can read food labels and make independent healthy decisions.

Do you have a story about your participation in the Diabetes Prevention Program that you would like to share? (it can be an anonymous article) Have an idea for an article? Please contact: Diane Arave, darave2@mt.gov or call 406-444-0593