Checks and Balances

I just had a birthday. I received an e-letter birthday greeting that has made me stop and think, scary, huh? Coupled with a conference I attended recently, I am thinking there is a message for me and I will share it with you.

The presentation was about women and heart health, which, truly, is women and health, period. There was a picture of an inverted triangle with the tip of it on the bottom, you know, the tiny portion. Women tend to value –from top (the widest part down) children, home and I forget the rest of the exact order but then came family pet, job, spouse and at the bottom, in that teeny part, was - self. This applies to men as well. The birthday e-letter I received had a similar message. What matters most? It goes on to list things that we tend to put first:

· Production over passion
· Working over wellness
· Being busy over balance

The accompanying article lists all the things we do in a day: parent, employee, volunteer, chauffeur, cook-you get the idea. I don’t have kids and it still sounded like a normal day for me. I hit the ground running, daily and not literally, figuratively. The run that leaves you drained at day’s end, not energized.

“Your life should be like a checking account, balancing out on a regular basis so that you always have assets to draw upon. By making even small deposits-taking care of yourself with a 10-minute walk or a nutritious meal-you’ll be amazed at the interest you’ll reap”.
From www.sparkpeople.com

It was nice for me to read this, it validated some thoughts I have had over the years. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we won’t be any good to anyone else. Plain and simple. The analogy in one article is this: flight attendants tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping someone else. You must be able to take care of your own needs before you attend to others. It is not always easy to do either. Life events the last few months had me running on empty. I went to get my haircut and my hair stylist (wish they would go back to using beautician, so much easier than saying the person who cuts my hair), anyhow, she told me the stress is showing through in the poor condition of my already dry and color treated hair, how much worse could it get? She sold me some expensive cloyingly sweet smelling goop. I digress.

I had people telling me “make sure you take care of yourself”, swell, yeah, sure, how the heck do I do that? So, I made a list of the help I could use. And, something I have never done before, being Miss Independent, I can do it myself, I asked for what I needed. I asked for help cleaning the house. I gave a friend a house key to walk the dogs. I asked for meals, I was coming home too tired to fix anything beyond cold cereal. I said I would take leftovers they wanted to get rid of. I asserted myself. When I was asked to drive across town and back for something that was not urgent I said NO, I will do that tomorrow, when it is convenient for me.

I am not telling you my tale of woe. I am telling you why it is important to put “money” into your account so you have funds, not a deficit. You aren’t any help if your balance is 0.

· Learn to say NO. Save a YES answer for what is most important to YOU.
· Start with small changes. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
· Your emotional health is every bit as important as your physical well being. I tell myself this daily.
· Have fun. If you must schedule 10 or 15 minutes to have fun, do it.
· Beware of timesuckers. Things you do but really aren’t important. In my life, it is the computer and e-mail. What a time waster. E-mail is a great way to stay in touch but when the contact is sending jokes that take forever to download, I hit delete. I let days go by without checking e-mail and then go thru and weed out the unwanted stuff. I also limit the number of FreeCell games I play. Beware of people who get their tentacles in you and waste your time. If you are trying to get off the phone, tell them the timer went off, that you have something in the oven. And, here’s a little secret, I know my mother won’t be reading this, I have been known to ring my doorbell and get the dogs barking so I can get off the phone. Works like a dream everytime.
· Combine family time with your fun time or exercise time. Go for a walk. Play a game. Sit down and talk.
· Try to see your problems in a new way, to find new solutions. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

Take yourself down to Bank of YOU, make a deposit, an investment in yourself. I guarantee the interest on the account is priceless.



This little quiz is from Sparkpeople.Com

How much "me" time do you get?
· Not enough. I can't even escape in the bathroom!
· A little bit each day, when I plan for it.
· Plenty. I understand its importance.
· Maybe too much. I could do more for others.
· None. I put everyone else first.