All About Change

I probably could just pull quotes from Brainyquote.com about life changes and write my blog using quotes. I like quotes, they are inspiring.

What I found interesting is that when looking for information on life changes, “stress” came up quite a bit. Hmmm. Not all change is stressful is it? The more I read I learned that yes, even positive changes are stressful, they result in different routines, making life adjustments, adjusting to the unfamiliar. Newly married, new baby, new job, buying a home, starting college, graduating college and having to find your way in the world, you get the picture. Then there are the negative changes, a death, illness, divorce (I suppose that one could be a positive change!), loss of a job, your college graduate moving back in with you because they can’t find a job cause the economy sucks and you turned their old bedroom into a nice crafts room.

Change- I put it into 3 categories
· It is our choice
· It is thrust upon us by someone else
· It is out of our control
An example of each
· Getting married
· Reorganization at work
· Illness

Regardless of what the change is in our life, we have become familiar and comfortable with our life as it is, good or bad. You are in a rut, afraid to make a change, that in your heart you want but, well, the rut is so comfortable and it is a known. You can count on the familiarity of knowing what to expect.

I recently heard someone speaking about change and how to adapt. What resonated was what I keep saying and what you, as a Lifestyle Balance program participant have been hearing: baby steps.

I have become fond of saying you can’t eat an entire elephant in one sitting, you have to take small bites, and eventually there won’t be any left. OK, the visual isn’t pretty and I think elephants are incredibly smart and sensitive, but you get what I mean, they are enormous and you have to tackle enormous projects in small steps or it is overwhelming and frightening. Change happens, it happens whether we like it or not and we can either fight it or deal with it in a positive way.

A study was done of 400 AT & T executives who lost jobs during a corporate reorganization. It was a 5 year study. Researchers found that of the 400 people, appx 66% of them did not fare well and weather the changes. They suffered both physically and emotionally.

The 34% who survived and thrived were found to have similar character traits. The researchers called these people “good copers”, “stress hardy”. The three “C’s” to success in adapting to change are below:

· Commitment to a strong set of values. Having a sturdy infrastructure of family and community to support the ability to make necessary changes.
· Control is the opposite of being helpless. Take action, don’t be a victim. While we don’t always have choices regarding the changes, we can control our reactions to them and how we choose to deal with them. Like I have said in previous blogs, we cannot prevent stress but we can control how we handle it. I am speaking of individual control over self, not a control freak who is dictating to you what, how, when and why to do something. That surely causes much more stress and is a topic for a separate blog!
· Challenge is the belief that change is not a threat to our security. It is an opportunity to be creative, a puzzle to be solved.

Family dynamics can change when a family or friend is having difficulty accepting the new you. You can go back to my December 14, 2009 blog for more information. If it is problematic, please seek counseling.

Change is inevitable. It’s like swimming in the ocean in a riptide. Whoever “they” are, they tell you to not fight the current, go with it, the current passes and you will be able to swim back to shore. If you fight it, you are panicking and burning up valuable energy that won’t save you. OK, so, I grew up at the beach and I do realize that there are lots of people in Montana who have never seen the ocean. I am versed in beach speak. I have no idea how to translate this to float trips, hunting trips or backpacking. If you are reading this and wish to share, please do so.

Suggestions for successfully handling change
· Talk about your plans: Use present tense words: “I am going to” instead of “I will”. Tell family and friends and they will begin asking you about your plans and how they are progressing.
· Rattle your routine: Want to start exercising more and have equipment you bought that is now an expensive clothing rack? Move it into the living room. Again, family and friends will be asking about the exercise bike in the living room and you tell them you are using it to exercise.
· Tell a friend: A friend will hold you to your plan. That is why they are your friend. A really good friend will be doing it with you. Getting up at 6 for a morning walk. Meeting you for a workout at the health club. And, shopping with you for jeans a size smaller because you both dropped weight and inches.


At the beginning of this blog I said I like quotes. I leave you with 3 for your enjoyment.

· “Always remember that the future comes one day at a time.” Dean Acheson
· “Things do not change; we change. “ Henry David Thoreau
· “Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.” Robert C. Gallagher


WEEKLY HUMOR

Q: Why should senior citizens use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car. (And readers, I don’t know about you, but I wish Target had valet parking!)